Do you know what is the differences between men and women?
-Just by physical differences? How about psychological, social, and sexual differences?
When people have problems in communication, they feel frustration, disappointment, fear, helpless, unworthy and unloved.
The more we understand ourselves, the better we communicate with our only customer and embrace the differences.
Have you ever made a journey to your inner-self to learn about yourself why you are in this way? Why are you thinking, behaving , feeling in this way?
When you know yourself well, you will have better understanding about your partner.
I had to admit that what I learnt surprised me so much. I realized that I spent several years for my education and career but never studied myself enough as a woman.
I would like to share the executive summary of my readings and findings from many resources. Enjoy reading!
- Man and woman are different in terms of genetic, physical development, brain structure and how it functions due to hormonal differences since birth. It is very important to understand and accept this fact. I am as a woman different from a man and this is very normal.
- Men and women have different body parts, different sexual hormones and emotional cycle in a month time. Women are digital while men are analog. Women need monthly update while men are fixed. That simply explains while women are complex and men are simple.
The hormonal activity in a woman body has great influence on her behavior, emotional understanding and reactions towards men. Depending on her special period, she will have different mood, needs and emotions. Her emotional and mental state will fluctuate due to changes in her hormones. This is very normal.It is what it should be.
This situation is misunderstood by men mostly. When you see a change in a woman’s behavior, it is NOT related to you, it is related to her biology.
It is your job to observe and follow her changes and instead of reaction when you feel frustrated or confused.
Just ASK her how she feels and if she is on her period. Women are much more positive and attracted towards men during the first 2 weeks of their period while distant to men in the second half of their period. This is nothing to do with your desirability.
- Men and women have different level of sensation.Men are visual while women are auditory. This explains why men are easily attracted by beautiful good looking models and naked women body.
If you check boys’ dormitory, you can find famous females naked or sexy posters. Men feel attracted to females’s external appearance.
On the other hand, women are attracted verbal communication. The men who talks in an attractive, romantic gentle way have more power on women than a good looking man. If you visit a female dormitory, you can see singer’s poster not naked men. We don’t enjoy naked man body. Naked man body doesn’t give us any imagination to think and fantasy about. But a singer’s romantic lyrics are more appealing for us.
Another example is in bedroom it is often an argument to turn on and off the lights. Men want to open to light to see their partner’s body to feel aroused, while women want to turn off the lights.
Men interpret this behavior as if woman being unconfident about their body. In fact there are other reasons. The light distracts female brain in such a way that it triggers the fields where makes females feel insecure and unsafe.
This is biological.
That’s why the warm color lights make women more relaxed, that’s why romantic environment has yellow light instead of cold white. Light distracts and creates chemical reactions in our brain which release hormones and makes us feel to be prepared for a danger and makes us feel uncomfortable.
Do you really think you can have a great sex with a woman who feel very uncomfortable under light? It is better you dim the light and make her feel safe. She appreciates your understanding and feel relaxed with you.
- I think, feel, live, interpret, grow, develop in a different way than a man. It is biology, it is genetic.
When I don’t understand a man or when he doesn’t understand me, it is normal. There is no problem with either me or him.
The problem occurs when we blame each other not being able to understand each other.
Most of the people don’t know that it is actually very difficult to think in the same way between two genders. What we can do is to try LISTENING each other, accepting each other and meeting their needs.
- Women and men interpret things differently although they say the same thing.
Since the egg is fertilized, the female brain structure is developed differently than a male structure due to female hormones. The brain activities in the right side is more than left side in females’ brain and the opposite in males’. For that reason male are good in analytic thinking while females are better in connecting and networking. Men competes while women cooperates.It is natural and biological.
- Our brain works in a way that it connects our past, present and future simultaneously.
In a book I read, women are like spaghetti while men are waffles. Spaghetti looks like all mixed and connected like female brain.
On the other hand male brain works like several boxes. Before they finish one box, they don’t move towards to other box. Boxes are independent and not necessarily connected.
It is very important to understand this concept, otherwise you fail to understand women with your box mindset.
Women think as a whole while men think partial.
Here is an example from real life: When men comes to work, he feels tired and exhausted. He doesn’t want to talk too much. He wants to have a quiet, clean house with some warm meals. He needs to relax and afterwards he wants to have sex with his partner. This looks normal to a man because work, relaxing and sex are different boxes. He can quickly goes to bedroom from dining room, enjoy sex without any conversation. Each room has a door to open and close in a male’s mind. On the contrary work, dinner and bed are connected each other for a woman. We don’t have doors. If we miss the connection, we feel uncomfortable during dinner and don’t want to have sex with you. That’s why men suffer to convince women to have sex with them. Men don’t see the connection women requires to create with men. Each connection is a part of intimacy. When there is not enough connection meaning not enough intimacy, there will be no affection. When there is no affection, women don’t feel sexual drive for you. To overcome the situation men need to create more connection and intimacy.
- How can you create connection and intimacy?
The answer is LISTENING and ASKING.
The most frequent complains women make about their partner are not talking them, not showing them enough interest. Women need their men to listen to them, asked them, talk to them with undivided attention. When you listen and talk to them, they will feel connected to you. You meet their connection needs, they will meet your sexual need. This is the deal.