Have you ever thought about how much similarities exist between selling to a customer and attracting a woman?
Selling is convincing and negotiating with your customer to buy from you on the contract level.
Very similarly selling is also attracting another person mentally, emotionally and spiritually to be your life partner or spouse, who is your only customer in private life.
Attraction is always about carefully probing for following questions:
- What do you like?
- What do I like ?
- Where is our common ground?
- Where is our limit?
- How far can I go?
- How much am I flexible ?
Let’s start with you and what you think and feel. After all, attraction is about what we think and feel and how we can harmonize these two things with the thoughts and feelings of our customer.
You have to be well prepared with your offer. Customer often doesn’t give feedback if they don’t consider buying from you. Very few of them.
So what happens when we fall out of favor with our customer?
Our offer lands in the trash. Maybe he/she has thinks about our offer or nothing at all. It doesn’t matter. The result ? The customer is not going to buy anything from us. We do not get the job.
You can not learn how to sell yourself and attract your partner with a few selling techniques. Selling is a matter of identity. If we really want to differentiate ourselves, we have to sell differently, we need to start thinking and feeling differently.
No fake here. Customers are hard and mean, so do women.
If they don’t like us, they will close the door and never open again.
To keep the customer with us, to make them stay for a long term committed relationship, we don’t need anything except be open and communicate effectively with them.
If I am a customer, then you become a supplier:
- Attract me to buy from you!
- Get me hot with your values, energy, positivism, character!
- Make me buy your product and services,
and I never mind I am working overtime to learn more about you.
Your main task is getting to know yourself and getting to know your potential partner.
On the following paragraphs you will meet different types of suppliers. Each of them does something well in his own way. And each of them has weak spots that diminish his attraction skills and douse the flames of his partner’s passion quickly.
You may recognize yourself in more than one of these types. That is perfectly normal and as it is supposed to be. I want you to find your own mix so that you will achieve the best possible effect for your partner in the future.
Here I tell you what I know so that you can have your own experiences.
It is completely up to you how deep and intensive your experience is going to be.
Now let’s go to it!
What kind of supplier are you?
When it comes to feelings, you are the master. You know how to get people excited.
Your offer is passionate and charming. Your appearance is a feast for eyes. You look really sexy.
A suggestive smile, a smoldering glance – usually that is all in there. Loyalty and consistency are not in your dictionary. You give something only when you need something.
But all of your promises aside, did you ever consider whether I am even interested in you, your products or services?
You are the greatest and the best. This message comes through load and clear in every word you say. It is all about you: I… I … and I….
I’ll tell you what: Until you start caring about me , my needs, listen to me, willing to learn about my dreams , my expectations, my wishes ; I don’t want to buy anything from you.
Make me feel like you are really interested in me like you care in a consistent way not just for one night.
Stop talking down to me and meet me in the eye level!
Try to see things from my point of view or at least be aware that it is different from your point of view.
Find out how you can make my life better, easier, happier.
Here is what you can do:
- Get to know me! Do some research. Use internet resources. It is fast and free.
- Develop a real message instead of clichés! Have a clear vision and perspective for your own life. Keep your passion and share it with me.
- Make an effort to become better instead of thinking that you are the greatest anyway! Be open to change yourself and learn new things.
- Take real interest in me! Be sincere, be intimate, be affectionate!
The Fact Guy
You like to think too much and turn off the feelings. Feelings are for other people. Statistics and facts on the other hand make your heart sing and your soul deeply satisfied.
You are meticulous. It takes until years that you feel comfortable and ready to share your feelings! You talk only facts and figures. You don’t care whether your offer is easy to understand and fun to have. You are not really interested in whether I will understand what you offer. It is my bad if I am not attained your level of sophistication.
You think creativity is the most useless thing in the world. It is for kids in kinder garden. People are supposed to think, not play and have fun.
- Stop giving me mental constipation! Relationship is all about emotions and feelings not facts & not rational thoughts!
- Get to know me! What do I already like, what do I really need or don’t need?
- Learn to tell your story. Be open and brave to share your feelings.
- Turn your vast knowledge into entertainment! Use your analytical mind to create opportunities to answer my needs, to attract me and have fun together!
The Social Guy
You like to talk much and you can talk hours and days. You know what? You have difficulty to come to the point!
Talking too much is a turnoff during lovemaking and in business. The real problem is that what you say don’t mean anything. You need to be a good supplier to keep me interested and attracted to you while being precise and to the point about your offer.
Here is what you can do:
- Respect my time and show me you have a point to make in your proposal!
- Get to the point with “Less is more!” concept! Conserve your words for a given subject and share them out slowly and step by step.
- Surprise me with a new approach of thinking! Don’t stay safe! Show me that you are open to criticism and feedback.
- Don’t make any offer till you know me and what I am really interested in.
- Make me laugh instead of concerned!
If you do these things, you will have a chance of leaving a trace in my mind when other suppliers are long forgotten.
The Cool Guy
Your charms are well hidden. Nobody can get a word out of you.
You are a person who sits in bed in perfectly ironed pajamas while reading business section of today’s newspaper while your partner is in leather lingerie performing acrobatics to get your attention.
Why are you doing this? Why do you imprison the words between your brain and mouth? Why don’t you open up?
If you never say anything, nobody can criticize you, right? Yes or no?
If you don’t share a little bit of your thoughts or feelings with your customer, you will be simply overlooked, forgotten and buried under mountains of feelings, ideas and thoughts you have in within yourself. Only your partner will never know it.
Here is what you can do:
- Get to know me so that you learn how to speak and open yourself to me.
- Show me some feeling so that I don’t always think you are in bad mood, because you are being so short with me.
- Surprise me by letting me know that you are a little bit crazy, sometimes.
- There is no problem with being quite as it is normal. You are great. What you say make sense.
- When you don’t say much, I will never know how much sense you have. Try to communicate more.