In this second part I write about why we need and look for a customer (a partner).
What is the meaning of designing, engineering, manufacturing the most advanced, the smartest, the most beautiful product if nobody buys it or uses it.
A supplier can only exists with a customer. We as human want to be useful, and needed for a purpose. It gives us a reason to work and live for.
We are social creatures. We can not live and be happy alone. Life is beautiful when it is shared and cared. Being together is a fundamental human need. We need to love and be loved, respected and valued.
We also need a customer(a partner ) to build a business (a family) and to have meaning projects together.
Being single is a decision not a result. Because it is easy, it is comfortable. When we are single, we are the boss, we have our own life, rules , and order. Accepting to another person in our life is hard work. We need to spend money, our time, show additional effort just to make other person happy. It requires compromising our own pleasure, taking responsibility and push us get out our comfort zone. That’s why more and more people prefers to stay alone instead of being a couple. It is easy and cheap. All great things are difficult, requires patience and persistence.
Being single is like having a business without a customer. It is like doing business just for yourself. We may enjoy for some time but not life time. We are happier and healthier when we are together.
When we have a customer, deliver a project successfully, get recognition and positive feedback, that feels great. That makes us feel happy and satisfied. Personal relationship is the same. Having a person in our life who wants us, who gives us the feeling that we are useful, important and needed, who respect and appreciates us what we do for him/her, who loves us back, and who does this continuously gives us the momentum, energy, motivation, a reason to be our best-self.
That’s why we need and look for a customer, in other words a partner.
I usually ask people what they are looking for and why they are looking for it. Mostly they give a short answer such as “I am looking for Mr. /Mrs Right or The Love of My Life”. If I am lucky enough, they give a list of personality types, characteristics that they want their partner should have and another list of activities that they want to do with their partner or expect him/her to do for them.
In my point of view, it is like looking for a supplier not a customer with several superficial features and offerings and expecting this supplier to accept all our requests as if it is the job.
A relationship starts with becoming a good supplier not a demanding customer. When we do great job as a supplier, customers find us and want to work with us.
Which one is better?
-To look for a customer who may consider to buy from you or
To be a competent supplier who understands the different customer types, who listens customer needs and complaints, communicates well and offer options for customer needs.
If you are looking for such supplier, you need to be one of them first.
The relationships means “Giving and Receiving Pleasure”. It starts with “Giving “. And if what we give meets our customer needs, then we can expect something back.
Here are the questions that I ask myself when I look for a customer (a partner) and I expect my partner to know the answers for himself.
- What kind of supplier am I in a relationship?
- What is my personality type, what is my character?
- What are my strengths and weakness?
- What are my skills, qualifications, experience in relationship?
- Am I feeling confident about myself, my body, my appearance, my life, my job?
- Do I have self-love, self-respect, self-value?
- Am I ready and willing to give and receive love and respect?
- Do I have enough time, space, motivation and interest to spend for my partner?
- What can I offer to my partner in a relationship? How can I contribute to this relationship?
- What kind of things am I proud of doing ?What are my best and worst?
- What is my passion in life? What are my hobbies? Does it match with my partner’s?
- What are my values and principles ? What is his/her values and principles?
- What is the purpose of my life? What is his/her purpose of life?
- What are my non-negotiables? What are my red buttons?
- How much am I flexible and mobile to change my life according to my relationship when needed?
- What are my needs, wishes, desires and expectations from a relationship and my partner?
- What are his/her needs wishes, desires and expectations from a relationship and me?
- Am I clear and precise in my ideas? Is he/she clear and precise in his/her ideas?